Rethinking Memorial Day

Here is the sermon submitted by Mark Dibelka at PMUC on 5/31/09.

The last weekend in May. Time to turn the calendar to a new month, and time for the sometimes chilly, sometimes steamy western New York Spring to give way to Summer. Interestingly, this is also one of the busier holiday seasons. Who'd have thought that the end of May who be a time of festivals? At least three religions are enjoying some type of celebration.

Before we go any further, I ask those of you with knowledge to provide a “pass” on my pronunciation of other languages. Although I have some training in Semitic languages, I am conversant in English and German – for some reason, I seem to return to Indoeuropean pronunciation unless I am practiced.

Today is Sunday, May 31, 2009.

At sunset on May 28 through sunset last night, the Jews celebrated Shavu'ot. Shavu'ot, the Festival of Weeks, is the second of the three major festivals with both historical and agricultural significance (the other two are Passover and Sukkot). Agriculturally, it commemorates the time when the first fruits were harvested and brought to the Temple, and is known as the Festival of the First Fruits. Historically, it celebrates the giving of the Torah at Mount Sinai, and is also known as the Festival of the Giving of Our Torah.

The period from Passover to Shavu'ot is a time of great anticipation. Each of the days is counted from the second day of Passover to the day before Shavu'ot. 49 days or 7 full weeks and may also be known as Pentecost, because it falls on the 50th day. The counting is a reminder of the important connection between Passover and Shavu'ot: Passover freed the Israelites from physical bondage, but it was the giving of Torah, on Shavu'ot, that spiritual redemption from the bondage to idolatry and immorality was granted.

It is noteworthy that the holiday is called the time of the giving of the Torah, rather than the time of the receiving of the Torah. It has been said that Jews are constantly in the process of receiving the Torah, that it is received every day, but it was first given at this time. Thus it is the giving, not the receiving, that makes this holiday significant.

Work is not permitted during Shavu'ot. It is customary to stay up the entire first night of Shavu'ot and study Torah, then pray as early as possible in the morning, as well as eating a dairy meal at least once during the celebration. The reasoning behind the dairy may be a reminder of the promise given to the Israelites to be granted a land flowing with "milk and honey," or perhaps it is because of the reception of Torah, and the dietary laws therein, providing for the separation of meat and dairy.

If we shift a bit further east from Canaan, into Persia, we find the seat of Bahai which celebrated the Ascension of Baha'u'llah on May 29th. May 29 marks the anniversary of the Ascension of Baha'u'llah, the founder of the Baha'i Faith. The day is one of nine holy days in the Baha'i calendar when Baha'is suspend work and school.

Baha’u’llah died after a brief illness in 1892 in the mansion of Bahji outside Acre, in what is now northern Israel. After spending most of His life in exile, He was able to live his later years at Bahji in relative tranquility. He was buried in a small stone house adjacent to the mansion. This Shrine is the holiest place on earth for Baha’is, the place toward which they turn in prayer each day.

Six days before His death, Baha’u’llah gathered his followers and family members and delivered what would be His last address to them:
"I am well pleased with you all. Ye have rendered many services, and been very assiduous in your labors. Ye have come here every morning and every evening. May God assist you to remain united. May He aid you to exalt the Cause of the Lord of being."

For a week after Baha’u’llah’s death, writes Shoghi Effendi, “a vast number of mourners, rich and poor alike, tarried to grieve with the bereaved family. . . Notables, among whom were numbered Shí'ahs, Sunnis, Christians, Jews and Druze, as well as poets, ulamas and government officials, all joined in lamenting the loss. . .”

Baha'u'llah's ministry came to an end in 1892. He left behind a heritage of spiritual and social teachings, which He claimed would lead humanity to true and abiding peace. In His own words:
"The Ancient Beauty hath consented to be bound with chains that mankind may be released from its bondage, and hath accepted to be made a prisoner within this most mighty Stronghold that the whole world may attain unto true liberty. He hath drained to its dregs the cup of sorrow, that all the peoples of the earth may attain unto abiding joy, and be filled with gladness. This is of the mercy of your Lord, the Compassionate, the Most Merciful. We have accepted to be abased, O believers in the Unity of God, that ye may be exalted, and have suffered manifold afflictions, that ye might prosper and flourish.
He Who hath come to build anew the whole world, behold, how they that have joined partners with God have forced Him to dwell within the most desolate of cities!"

Baha'u'llah died approximately eight hours after sunset on 29 May, 1892. Baha'i communities around the world typically commemorate his passing at 3:00 a.m. local, standard time.

In the Christian church, today is Pentecost Sunday. It is actually the oldest of Christian celebrations and is mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles as well as the first letter to the Corinthians. It is the 50th day after Easter, if both Easter and Pentecost are counted.

It is no coincidence that the Jewish and Christian celebrations should fall concurrent. In the Acts of the Apostles (2:2-4) we are told the story of the original, Christian Pentecost. Jews from all over were gathered in Jerusalem to celebrate the Jewish feast. On that Sunday, ten days after Jesus' Ascension, the Apostles and mother Mary were gathered in the Upper Room, where they had seen Jesus after His Resurrection:
Suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a mighty wind coming, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. And there appeared to them parted tongues as it were of fire, and it sat upon every one of them: And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they began to speak with diverse tongues, accordingly as the Holy Ghost gave them to speak.

Jesus had promised the Apostles that He would sent His Holy Spirit, and, on Pentecost, the apostles granted the gifts of the Spirit. The Apostles began to preach the Gospel in all the languages of the gathered Jews, and it is reported that 3,000 people were converted and baptized that day.

Pentecost is often called "the birthday of the Church." On this day, with the descent of the Holy Spirit, the Jesus mission was completed, and the New Covenant was inaugurated.

In years past, Pentecost was celebrated with greater solemnity than it is today, being largely ignored by many churches. In fact, the entire period between Easter and Pentecost Sunday is known as Pentecost. Dependant upon the faith tradition, during these 50 days, both fasting and kneeling are strictly forbidden, because this period is supposed to provide a foretaste of the life of Heaven.

We have now touched on three religious holidays. This is also a time of a secular holiday as well, Memorial Day. It is curious that I would speak of Memorial Day a full week after it was celebrated by most Americans. To explain, let me share the tradition of the holiday. Memorial Day is primarily to honor the memory of those who have died in military service. This American holiday has its roots in the practice of women of decorating the graves of their loved ones who had died in the American Civil War, and was originally called Decoration Day. The first formal observance seems to have been on May 5, 1866, in Waterloo, New York. Memorial Day, as a national holiday, was originally celebrated on May 30 in the years after 1868, however, since 1971 it has been celebrated on the last Monday in May

Commander in Chief John A. Logan of the Grand Army of the Republic issued the 1868 proclamation declaring the first Decoration Day. He credited his wife, Mary Logan, with the suggestion for the commemoration. But the idea had its roots in the decoration of the graves of Civil War dead by women, going back at least to 1864.

On May 30, 1870, General Logan gave an address in honor of the new commemorative holiday. In it he said: "This Memorial Day, on which we decorate their graves with the tokens of love and affection, is no idle ceremony with us, to pass away an hour; but it brings back to our minds in all their vividness the fearful conflicts of that terrible war in which they fell as victims.... Let us, then, all unite in the solemn feelings of the hour, and tender with our flowers the warmest sympathies of our souls! Let us revive our patriotism and love of country by this act, and strengthen our loyalty by the example of the noble dead around us...."

Now, we turn the clock forward from the 19th to the 20th century, the year is 1993. It is 18 years since the fall of Saigon, and the horrors of southeast Asia that not only turned a nation against its own military, but turned many of that nation's citizens, both willing and unwilling, into asocial, obviously troubled, people. It is also the same year that a newlywed bride faces her charming husband, bathed in the fresh light of the new dawn, in their bedroom. She leans over to give him a kiss good-bye, as she is leaving for work and he works evenings (3pm to midnight). Suddenly, he appears to be completely awake and both hands have come from under the covers – each taking hold of her in positions of control on her upper body and she is nearly taken to the floor in pain. Although she is well versed in physical confrontation herself, being a master karateka, she could easily take command of the situation and even, justifiably, hurt her husband – however, she knows that he must have been dreaming, facing some demon unknown that she has not yet met. Perhaps it wasn't being touched during a kiss, but the drop of a shoe has caused him to roll out of bed and take up a position of challenge, over top of the mattress, with an invisible rifle set in his hands. After a bit, she learns to speak before coming close while he's sleeping, or to pin him with the sheets when she needs to waken him.

Sometimes in my bed at night,I curse the dark and I pray for light.And sometimes, the light's no consolation.

In the full light of day, this couple is walking a path in the wilderness when a noise off in the trees causes the man to, soundlessly, stop moving, pivot his head in a desperate effort to locate the cause, then move off the path into concealment. The squirrel who dropped the pinecone sits in its tree, studiously plucking the nuts out of another cones and ignoring the actions of the odd creature below it. Once the man is satisfied there is no threat, he re-emerges and is immediately questioned by the wife. “What happened?” She knows better than to ask what kind of stupid, crazy idea was running through his head that would cause him to carry out such a bizarre action. She has seen it before, and is certain she will see it again. The question is an invitation to talk, not a demand for an explanation. There is not much to say in response, as he isn't ready to share. Instead he's left, unique to those who have been in his situation, alone with his thoughts.
Blinded by a memory.Afraid of what it might do to me,And the tears and the sweat only mock my desperation.

A sweaty mess of a man. Large, uncompromising, and completely disconnected. Disconnected from the empirical world around him. He does not see the flowers of the garden in which he stands. He cannot smell the faint whiff of hamburgers and hot dogs. He is all too aware of the sound of firecrackers, the sound of black powder rifles in a parade somewhere, the odor of smoke.... The desperation sets in – fight or flight – but there is no flight to be had. The stress builds and only one of two outlets will see this build-up of stress relieved: a psychotic break, or a return to reality and a mourning for an event as real as if it had just occurred rather than being nearly two decades gone. In the case of the psychotic break, society has witnessed the birth of its newest criminal as this kind of stress release is rarely constructive. The return to reality is just as ugly – this giant bear of a man turning into a sobbing, snotty mess, dealing with losses about which those around him may never know. If they are aware of the loss, they can never understand. Children see this raw emotion and are frightened. Adults have no idea how to deal with this apparent meltdown and are, themselves, uncomfortable. What causes people to be uncomfortable, is ignored by those in discomfort. At the time when this man is most vulnerable, there is nobody there to comfort him. A man who has done what society asks, and as a result is shunned by society.Don't you know me, I'm the boy next door.The one you find so easy to ignore.Is that what I was fighting for?

Fighting? Who said anything about fighting? In case you haven't figured it out, this man could be any one of the men within our communities who “enjoy” what was once known as cowardice in the Civil War era, the thousand yard stare during World War I, shell shocked by World War II and Korea, and more recently post-traumatic stress disorder. This man is a soldier, sailor, airman, marine who has seen the worst humanity has to offer and been told it shouldn't effect him. It could very well have been looking a 14 year old in the eye, down the length of a rifle barrel and iron sights, before pulling the trigger and sending three, .223 caliber slugs, traveling faster than the speed of sound, tearing into the flesh of that youth. Chalk up the first kill. We gasp with horror at the hellacious monster who would kill a 14 year old child. As we pass judgment on this person, let me finish the story – approximately five seconds after that young life ended, the body disintegrated into in a fireball. The bomb the child was carrying detonated well clear of the troop transport where it would have snuffed the life out of a squad of combat engineers.
Walking on a thin line.Straight off the front line.Labeled as freaks, loose on the streets of the city.

Perhaps it is the knowledge that his best friend had just died right next to him. 19 years old, some five thousand miles from home, and his best friend no more – to be completely honest, I'd be concerned if these situations didn't effect him.
Walking on a thin lineAngry all the time.Take a look at my face, see what its doing to me
Memorial day, a day when families and communities come together to hold picnics. Maybe the TV will be turned on and folks will notice how quaint the old men look wearing their out of date uniforms and American Legion caps. Is this the true legacy of Memorial Day? As we heard earlier, Memorial Day is to honor the memory of those who have passed in combat. The general greeting for the day is “Happy Memorial Day!” Now imagine approaching the man who slogged out of the troop carrier, listening to the bullets raining on the steel and bodies around him, then ran, as best he was able, through the surf zone of Normandy on June 6, 1944. How many friends were taken from him that day? How long has he had to remember? What is it exactly he is remembering, and is it reasonable to expect that he might find the memory happy in any way shape or form?
Taught me how to shoot to kill.A specialist with a deadly skill.A skill I needed to have to be a survivor.

No longer is combat the arena of men, and I honestly wonder how many of the women who fought for the equal right to bear arms on behalf of the nation have actually fought – and been glad they won the right. Take a person who is entering adulthood at age 18. They have no education beyond high school that will prepare them for a professional career, they can enjoy adult entertainment, vote for elected officials, and go to war – but they are not allowed alcohol. The only real skill they have is the ability to survive in hostile environments, both physical and mental, and place a cluster within a four inch circle at 50 yards. The Houghton-Mifflin Dictionary defines a profession as: An occupation that requires considerable training and specialized study. That being said, the United States has become quite skilled at generating professional soldiers – it is an occupation, in which the operators have undergone extensive training, and they are all specialists of some type.

If you have never been through military training, there is no way to understand the internal dilemmas that, hopefully, occur. All your life, that sanctity of human life is hammered into you. For most of us, murder is unthinkable. Look at our attitudes towards crime; somehow it is more acceptable to rape a woman, or forcibly sodomize a man, than it is to take a life. An 18 year old is taken from the background of sacred life, and trained into a person who can snuff human life as efficiently as possible. Lt. Col. David Grossman (retired after a quarter of a century as an Army infantry officer, a paratrooper, a Ranger, and a West Point Psychology Professor) tells us:
“Healthy members of most species have a powerful, natural resistance to killing their own kind. Animals with antlers and horns fight one another by butting heads. Against other species they go to the side to gut and gore. Piranha turn their fangs on everything, but they fight one another with flicks of the tail. Rattlesnakes bite anything, but they wrestle one another.
When we human beings are overwhelmed with anger and fear our thought processes become very primitive, and we slam head on into that hardwired resistance against killing. During World War II, we discovered that only 15-20 percent of the individual riflemen would fire at an exposed enemy soldier. This is not inconsistent with the numbers from the American Civil War.
That's the reality of the battlefield. Only a small percentage of soldiers are willing and able to kill. When the military became aware of this, they systematically went about the process of “fixing” this “problem.” Fix it they did. By Vietnam the firing rate rose to over 90 percent.”

The training methods the military uses are brutalization, operant conditioning, and role modeling.

Brutalization, or “values inculcation,” is what happens at boot camp. Your head is shaved, you are herded together naked, and dressed alike, losing all vestiges of individuality. You are trained relentlessly in a total immersion environment. In the end you embrace violence and discipline and accept it as a normal and essential survival skill in your brutal new world.

Operant conditioning is a powerful procedure of stimulus-response training. We see this with children in fire drills. When the fire alarm is set off, the children learn to file out in orderly fashion. One day there's a real fire and the frightened children do exactly what they've been conditioned to do. In World War II we taught our soldiers to fire at bullseye targets, but that training failed miserably because we have no known instances of any soldiers being attacked by bullseyes. Now soldiers learn to fire at realistic, man-shaped silhouettes that pop up in their field of view. That's the stimulus. The conditioned response is to shoot the target and then it drops. Stimulus-response, stimulus-response, repeated hundreds of times. Later, when they are in combat and somebody pops up with a gun, reflexively they will shoot and shoot to kill, 75 to 80 percent of the shooting on the modern battlefield is the result of this kind of training

In the military your role model is your drill sergeant. He personifies violence, aggression, and discipline. The drill sergeant, and heroes such as John Wayne, Audey Murphy, Sergeant York and Chesty Puller, have always been used as role models to influence young, impressionable recruits as a means of defining survival. Both individual and squad survival.
Its over now, or so they say.Well, sometimes, it don't turn out that way.'Cause your never the same when you've been under fire.

Survivor's guilt. The looks of pity from those around you. The insensitive questions. The horrible slander heaped upon you. These are but four of the issues having to be dealt with by returning soldiers. How many of you have ever had to get over, and honestly think you could get over, looking down a rifle barrel and terminating the life of a 14 year old? How many of you would be able to get over brushing your buddy's brains off your shirt and pushing on to reach your goal? How about waking up every morning and wondering why, out of a platoon of 16 of the finest men you'll ever meet, you and one other are the only ones to make it out of a battle alive? Many of us have combat veterans in our families, or know a few people who have been activated and been sent “over there.” I would say that not a single one of those people who have marched into combat are the same person they were before facing their own mortality at light speed. Sometimes the catalyst is their own pulling of the trigger, and sometimes that catalyst is the unreproducable sound a bullet makes in flight.

Asked to do a job by the people of the United States, by you and me, the soldier dies. The physical death is the easiest. Those who return have died the mental death – they are either scorned for the horrible things they did in our name, or they are held up as heroes, when inside they are aware that they have gone places that the next generation should never have to go. The only people who want to be heroes end up dead.Don't you know me, I'm the boy next door.The one you find so easy to ignore.Is that what I was fighting for?

The mental death. The incessant mourning for lost companions. Fighting the devil inside their own head every minute of every day. Somehow keeping it together, and nobody around them knows the tempest threatening to shake apart the veneer of polite society. Yearning to put the ghosts to rest – let their dead companions be dead. Why do they continue to haunt after nearly 20 years in the dirt? Can we ever return and collect them from the dirt in which they lay to allow their family closure?

Perhaps Memorial Day shouldn't be about just the casualties of war. Perhaps Memorial Day should allow a nation to not only mourn its losses, but also to ensure the survivors receive the care they need – thereby avoiding turning them into casualties of a war that historically ended years before, but has raged in their mind ever since.
Walking on a thin line.Straight off the front line.Labeled as freaks, loose on the streets of the city.Walking on a thin line.Angry all the time.Take a look at my face, see what its doing to me.

When we see the folks with the POW-MIA vests, or the hats that declare them veterans – we all know who they are – it is time to stop wishing they would have a HAPPY Memorial Day. Instead, let each of us help them battle their demons – reach out a comforting hand and let them know they are welcome in society be telling them, “Welcome home.” You just might be surprised at their gratitude.


“Walking on a Thin Line” - Huey Lewis and the News
Information regarding Pentacost – catholic.about.com
Information regarding Baha'u'llah – bahai.us
Information regarding Shavu'ot – jewfax.org